Andrew Clark makes it to the line ahead of the 498 others. Donald Trump can’t actually be seen in this photo but he really was standing just next to Steve Brown, on the right. Image: Tony Copland.
End of an inaccurate era
By Bruce Covfefe
To celebrate the end of the Trump Presidency, we present all altogether inaccurate account of Thursday night’s road race in Mansfield.
The Donald arrived in Mansfield on Thursday afternoon to avoid watching the Biden Inauguration and to witness the first Mansfield Mt Buller Cycling Club road race of 2021 on the Whitfield Road. With road works on Graves Road and parts of Old Tolmie Road, the course was shortened from the expected 132km to 28km. The thousands of enthusiastic onlookers were not happy.
There were 499 entrants! Notable locals included John Eisner and Andrew Clark off Limit; new dad Anthony Plummer and Nathan Pelling off 6 minutes; Tom Macmunn and Steve Duke off 4 minutes; and the Scratch group was made up of Dave Moore, Bruce Halket and Chris Miller. The other 490 riders were scattered in various groups on the start list. It was the largest start list ever seen in Washington!
Despite the generous handicap, Limit was severely hampered when Eisner punctured a kilometre in, leaving Clark to ride the remaining 127 kilometres alone. Sad.
Further back, Pelling and Plummer were flying! Macmunn and Duke were riding really well too until Duke dropped his bundle at Bridge Creek, had to turn around and pick it all up, leaving Macmunn to wait for Scratch.
The Donald was impressed. He was quoted as saying “What you’re seeing and what you’re reading is not what’s happening” and “Despite the constant negative press covfefe”.
Scratch caught Macmunn after the turnaround at Sawpit Gully Road and set about rounding up the rest of the field and caught all but a few of the hundreds of riders ahead of them. But they were fake news.
In the end, Clark build an unassailable lead (a bit like a big, beautiful wall) taking the win ahead of the hundreds of others, in a time of 57:34. Pelling crossed for second ahead of Plummer, with Miller fourth and fastest in a time of 44:28. Just outside the top ten were some other also-rans: Merckx, Armstrong, Hinault, Froome, Wiggins, Bernal, Indurain, Bartoli and Evans.
The Donald said “It’s like, you’ll go, ‘Clark, Pelling, Plummer, Miller, Halket.’ So they say, ‘Could you repeat that?’ So I said, ‘Yeah.’ So it’s, ‘Clark, Pelling, Plummer, Miller, Halket.’ OK, that’s very good. If you get it in order, you get extra points.”
The extra points went to the nine local entrants who all scored a bonus 4000 points each, just for entering, to have Clark leading the championship easily from previous leader, Craig Wilson, on 29 points in tenth.
Presentations were held afterwards at the Mansfield Hotel, although for some reason The Donald wanted to hold them at Four Seasons Total Landscaping.
Many thanks to all our officials and volunteers and, of course, The Donald. He said it was the greatest bike race ever, after the Tour de Trump.
Many thanks to the Graham Watson of Mansfield, Tony Copland, for the images and here are the results.
Next week’s race will be again be held on the Whitfield Road; entries to The Handicapper by 8pm Wednesday.
Club kit is available for one more week
Use this link to place your order. Email Bruce to get the access code.
Standard delivery is to All Terrain Cycles or you can choose to have it delivered to your place with a small extra charge.